thebootydiaries:

bae: *doesnt reply for 2 mins*

me: are u having fun talking to UR HOES?

(via thebootydiaries)

gunnyryan:

just-shower-thoughts:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Who the fuck wrote this

(via tacotouchingtuesdays)

lingrix:

ive never said 1 coherent thing in my life

(via thebootydiaries)

me as a surgeon

thebootydiaries:

me: hey

fellow surgeon: what

me: takes out patients heart

me: will u be my valentine

me: lol

fellow surgeon: please put that back

(via thebootydiaries)

meow-n-save:

djmarshmello:

does anyone else with intrusive thoughts do that weird dismissive head shake when they get them to kinda like.. reverse/reject the thought or is that just me

Gotta shake your brain like an etch-n-sketch and start over

(via itsagifnotagif)

klefable:

it’s me, the neediest person in the world™

(via thebootydiaries)